Managing People Challenges

There are no more important words in any relationship – business, personal, or family –than “I trust you.” We give our trust slowly but take it away instantly when something is said or done to put that trust in question. And communications experts tell us that others believe our behavior when our behavior and words don’t match.

In crises, when we and our colleagues are feeling most anxious, trust is central to pulling out of trouble as a team. But when colleagues sense they are not hearing the truth – when our actions don’t match our words – we lose their trust. And restoring it is extremely difficult.

“I trust you until there is doubt; then I never trust you again.” You may not have said those actual words, but you may have thought them. So the words, “ I trust you” are priceless.

What can we do to cement trust in our relationships?

• Tell the truth. If you can’t share information, say so. Never lie.
• Meet your commitments. If you agree to do something, do it. If you can’t meet an agreement, say so. If you say you’ll call back next week, do it.
• Keep unkind thoughts to yourself. A cutting remark might make a point or evoke a laugh, but it also sends a message that you will hurt others.

Sound simple? Yes. But simple doesn’t equal easy.

Consider this dilemma: A friend is a vendor to one of your customers. The friend shares some confidential information about your customer that you could use to position yourself to garner all of your customer’s business. Acquiring all of this customer’s business would enable you to exceed your sales goals for the year and guarantee your team generous bonuses.

If you use the knowledge, however, it will be evident that you got inside information. You have built a strong relationship with this customer and want it to continue. How do you manage this information? And what do you say to your friend?

Your actions will influence your relationship with the customer for the foreseeable future. How do you maintain the trust of this customer? “I trust you” are the most important words in any relationship.